![]() She came back and brought up another time recently that I was unreasonable, saying that she had told me something about her job, and I had reacted with sarcasm and disgust. She said she is doing the best that she can in trying to deal with all my problems, and she doesn't have the energy or the will to do it any more. She rebuffed that idea, but added again that she just doesn't have the time. ![]() I told her a few minutes ago that I will stop burdening her with it, and will stop sending her articles and such. When I ask her outright if she wants to learn more, she swears she does, but she has a life, therefore she just doesn't have the time or energy to read much about it. She seems stand-offish about it, at best. I have tried to share some of this with her, both verbally, and by sharing articles with her via email. I am on disability, and I fill my days and evenings reading books on my various diagnoses, learning as much as I can, so that I can better control, or adapt, or adjust to the reality of my life, and I do feel good about that. I am battling Major Depressive Disorder, CPTSD, Anxiety, ADHD and severe Chronic Pain. So she got louder and more accusatory, and then angrily walked out. She says that she's just being honest, and that she IS asking me how I feel, or what I am thinking, when she tells me what she feels like I am thinking. That makes perfect sense to me, but she doesn't see it that way. I would welcome both of those if they were honest questions. I asked her why she can't just ASK me what I am thinking, or ask me how I am feeling. Then when she accuses me of thinking some negative thing, it hits me out of the blue, and I register it as an insult. Ninety percent of the time, I am not only NOT thinking what she thinks I am, but I am thinking about some other subject altogether. ![]() I tell her to skip saying the part about what she is so sure that I am thinking, and just ASK ME what I am thinking, instead. I told her time and again that I get mad when people try to read my mind and put words into my mouth. Well, I have been telling her she's wrong for over 40 years now, and that only makes her angry and defensive. She says since she uses the word "feel", she isn't mind reading, and so it's up to me to tell her if she's right or wrong. ![]() She doesn't see it as mind reading because she says "I 'feel like' you were disgusted by what I just said, and you shouldn't be", or "I 'feel' that you think I'm stupid just because I did X, or Y". ![]() We've had plenty of arguments about it, but no agreement. In the last couple of years, it just makes me angry and defensive. In the early days, it would just shock me, and sometimes confuse me. I am struck out of the blue most times when she tells me what I am thinking, and how unfair that is, and paints me as the bad guy and her as the innocent one. But I do try my best to speak in neutral tones at the very least, and I have thought that I have a resting face of a neutral mood or higher as much as possible. I have chronic pain as well as deep depression, so it is difficult for me to convincingly put on a happy face, or speak with joy in my voice. Essentially, it happens when she asks me a question or tells me about something, and my tone of voice sounds negative to her, or my face or body language looks negative. She has a habit of telling me what negative thoughts I am thinking and feeling, and then adding, "well am I wrong?" to it. ![]()
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